


Stay Close To Me

by Lauriana25



Series: The Baby Diaries [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Katsuki Yuuri, Alpha/Omega, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega Victor Nikiforov, True Love, True Mates, emotional distress, seriously lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15806577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauriana25/pseuds/Lauriana25
Summary: Yuuri is a dime-a-dozen alpha and professional skater who cannot believe his luck that the uber-successful (not to mention drop-dead gorgeous!) omega Victor Nikiforov is his mate. His True Mate, the one being he was destined to be with, regardless of either his primary or secondary gender. The last five years have been the best of his life; not only has he achieved his dream of winning gold – all thanks to the support of his new coach, Victor – but he and Victor have bonded and married. Nothing on earth could break their happiness.Or so he thought.





	Stay Close To Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot darker and a has a lot more angst than anything I've posted so far, so if it's not to your liking, I apologise. There is a happy ending, of sorts, but no smut. Just a lot of love.

“Victor, I’m home! Sorry I’m late, you wouldn’t believe the traffic - ”

Yuuri froze at the front door, his keys slipping from his fingers. Something was off. The silence that greeted him was heavy, laden down with a strong smell of musky cinnamon; Victor’s usually-sweet, rose-heavy omega scent was wrong and it made the tiny hairs on Yuuri’s arms shiver.

Something was wrong with his mate.

Yuuri ran through the house, calling for Victor. His heart hammered as the silence continued. Where was Victor?! He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. The den, filled with thick blankets and throws for one of Victor’s nests, was also empty, though Yuuri could smell that Victor had been in there today.

“Victor, where are you?!” he screamed in the hallway, a sheen of panicked sweat forming on his brow. His alpha sense were screaming at him to find and protect his mate, to seek out the source of his husband’s distress and destroy it, and it was killing him that he didn’t know what it was.

He heard a low, pitiful whine coming from upstairs. He flew up the stairs, taking two at a time. He initially thought it had come from their bedroom, but he stopped in his tracks when he found Makkachin lying in front of the shut bathroom door, whimpering and gently scratching the wood.

“Makkachin?” he whispered, swallowing his heart back down into his chest. The poodle looked up at him with doleful black eyes and padded over to him, rubbing his fluffy head against his knee. Yuuri ruffled his thick brown fur and crouched down, sending a wave of soothing pheromones to his pet.

“What’s happened, boy?” his eyes glanced to the bathroom door as he continued to stroke Makkachin, a cold knot forming in his belly. The poodle whined again, leaning into his master’s chest for a proper cuddle.

Whilst Makkachin had always been affectionate, Yuuri could sense the animal’s request for reassurance; the reassurance that only a pack leader could give to a lower ranked member. And Makkachin very rarely sought out Yuuri as an alpha, only ever as a person who fed and pampered him.

For Makkachin to resort to his primal canine instincts, something was seriously wrong.

Yuuri gave Makkachin a final scratch behind his floppy ear and stood up. As he approached the bathroom door, he was smacked in the face with that off-cinnamon scent again, only this time, it was coursing out of the bathroom in waves. He swallowed the fear in his gut and knocked gently on the door.

“Victor?” he kept his whisper soft and low; he didn’t want to startle his mate. There was no reply. The distressed scent got stronger. _Shit._

Yuuri knocked again, a little bit louder. “Victor, is everything okay?” he knew it wasn’t – the scent that was threatening to choke him told him that – but he was now desperate to hear Victor’s voice.

Instead he heard a shuddering whine coming from the bathroom.

Victor was crying.

“I’m coming in.” Yuuri said firmly and twisted the door handle, hoping that Victor hadn’t locked the door. He hadn’t.

His heart broke into a thousand shards.

Victor was sat on the bathroom floor, his knees pulled up to his chest, rocking back and forth. His eyes shot up when he heard the door open and they were bright red and puffy and shining with a waterfall of tears. His beautiful face was pale, save for the blotches of pink on his tearstained cheeks, his full lips wobbling as he drew shaky, noisy pants of breath.

“Oh, Yuuri! Yuuri, I’m so sorry!” Victor wailed before he threw his head back onto his knees, his voice broken off by fresh sobs.

Yuuri dropped to his knees, his eyes wide with terror. He tried to stroke Victor’s silver hair – something that he usually liked when he was upset – but the omega flinched away from his touch, snivelling.

“Victor…baby, please, tell me what’s wrong - ” he pleaded, trying again to reach out to his mate. He gently placed a hand on Victor’s arm as he sent out a warm wave of soothing pheromones. Victor didn’t stop crying, but at least he now allowed the alpha to touch him. Yuuri rubbed his hand over Victor’s arm in small, slow circles. He glanced around the bathroom, searching for a clue to his husband’s anguish. Nothing seemed to be out of place; their mirrored cabinet, filled with their toiletries (mostly Victor’s), was closed. The large bath with its numerous settings for jets, bubbles and massage – perfect for Victor when he was in heat and in need of additional relaxation – was clean and untarnished. The power shower in the corner was also clean, save for the fog on the glass from Yuuri’s morning shower. There didn’t seem to be anything broken.

But, there was _something_. Yuuri could sense it; a slight metallic taste in the air, underlying Victor’s sickly-sweet cinnamon scent, that made him feel on edge. He turned back to his mate and stared; the metallic tang was stronger in this direction.

Yuuri gently placed his hands on Victor’s knees and shifted so he was knelt in front of him.

“Victor? Vitya?” Victor looked up at the use of his pet name, large sapphire eyes peeking out from under a silver curtain. Yuuri’s heart stopped at the despair in those eyes.

“Victor, put your legs down, please.” Yuuri kept his voice gentle – he didn’t want his omega to be frightened of him.

Victor’s face scrunched up as a sob choked out of his chest, “Yuuri…please…” his voice broke as he shook his head.

Yuuri took the opportunity to cup Victor’s cheek in one hand, his thumb softly brushing away the cascading tears. “Please, Vitya?”

This was one of those rare moments when Yuuri wished he was an omega; they were able to be so persuasive without the use of commands, and the amount of times Victor had put on that silky voice and made his already-perfect eyes sparkle with diamond-light just so that Yuuri would buy him ice cream made him the most adorable omega in the world. Until he was smug afterwards, once the effects of his omega powers wore off. To be able to have that power right now, just so he could help the man he loved…Yuuri would have cut off his own arm with a smile on his face to have it.

Victor leaned against the bath, still crying, and let his arms flop to his sides, much like a ragdoll’s. Keeping his eyes locked on Victor’s, making sure he was okay with his touch, Yuuri gently nudged at Victor’s knees until he opened his legs, his feet slipping to either side of Yuuri.

The metallic taste bit the back of Yuuri’s throat and he felt nauseous. That’s when he saw the dark red patch on the crotch of Victor’s jeans.

He balked and shot his eyes up to Victor’s.

“Yuuri…I… _I lost her_!”

Yuuri flew to close the gap between him and his mate, pulling him into the tightest embrace as Victor sobs grew louder, echoing over the tiles. He felt his own chest heave and he clenched his eyes shut, trying desperately to keep his own tears from falling.

He released more relaxing pheromones, but he knew it was futile, given how his own grief was threatening to overtake him. So he settled with holding Victor tight, rubbing his hands in circular motions on his back and arms, stroking his soft hair, basically offering every form of physical comfort he could without smothering his mate.

They had spent the last two years trying for a baby. They had known from the beginning that it would be difficult; whilst omegas make perfect mating partners for alphas, male omegas often have difficulties with conception, and if they did manage to carry to full-term, it was stressful and often dangerous to both the parent and the baby. Plus, given that Victor was now in his thirties, the window of opportunity for the male omega to naturally conceive was narrowing. Not by a great deal – male omegas had been known to conceive well into their forties – but every time Victor miscarried, he convinced himself more and more that it was all his fault that they couldn’t have a baby.

They had been advised by their doctor to not just leave baby making to during Victor’s heats; whilst this was the prime time for conception (not to mention the most fun!), male omegas needed all the help they could get.

At first, Victor had been really excited about that part and had spent the best part of a month teasing and flirting with Yuuri to the point of nearly killing him; seductive whispers in the dead of night had woken Yuuri from dreams, salacious glances across the ice during practise which usually led to quick, fumbling sessions in the locker room (that is, until Yurio had walked in on them and screamed the place down!) and some very creative meal times that made Yuuri never able to look at strawberries without blushing.

And Yuuri had to admit, he had been just as excited as Victor about the process. Not just the sex – that had always been mind-blowing, regardless of their heats or ruts, and he always had to pinch himself, even after all this time, that he had just made love with Victor Nikiforov – but he found himself fantasising about what it would be like to have a little family of his own.

They had talked about it often after they’d made love; Victor loved the idea of a raven-haired little girl with big blue eyes, Yuuri thought a silver-haired boy with large omega eyes would surely be an end to all the problems in the world. How they’d teach their baby to skate, how Yuuko’s triplets would probably almost kill it with their rough play, how Makkachin would relish the idea of another human fussing over him.

Yuuri loved those moments of pillow talk. Hushed voices, snuggled up in Victor’s cosy nest in their bedroom, bathed in the golden afterglow of their passion, Yuuri had felt like all of his dreams were coming true. All because of Victor. Beautiful, perfect Victor.

The first miscarriage had been horrible, but they had mentally prepared themselves for it. They knew it wasn’t going to be easy, and they had not raised their hopes, just in case. But even so, when the doctor had confirmed that their first time was unsuccessful, Yuuri had seen some of the starlight that made up his mate’s aura dim a little.

But they had tried again. And again. And again.

Now, as he cradled Victor in the bathroom, he knew it was going to be even harder to comfort his husband this time.

But he knew he had to try.

He pulled back a little bit so he could cup Victor’s chin in his hand. His heart tore in half at the pain in those summer-sky eyes.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” He whispered, “I should have been here - ”

“What difference would it have made?” Victor snapped, frowning, “Would you have been able to save her? You never told me you were a doctor!”

Yuuri flinched but said nothing. He knew this was just Victor lashing out because he was upset. Still, it hurt him that he couldn’t make him feel better.

“I should have been here for you,” he continued to keep his voice soft as he brushed away Victor’s tears, “I should have sensed…”

Victor flashed dark eyes at him and he fell silent.

“You should have sensed what?” Victor leaned forward, his face twisting into something angry, “The moment I lost our baby? The moment her heart stopped? The moment _my_ heart stopped?! Because it did! Just like all the other times! _Every time our babies die, I die too_!”

Yuuri heard Makkachin whimper from the hallway, sensing the high levels of distress coming from the omega. The hormones were almost suffocating, strangling his lungs.

“Vitya…”

“I wish I had died!” Victor snarled, “I wish I had died with our baby!”

Yuuri gripped the top of Victor’s arms and shook him – not a lot, just enough to make him gasp in shock.

“Don’t you _dare_ talk like that!” he yelled, his strong alpha voice echoing around the room until he saw his lover flinch, “Don’t ever say that! Don’t make it sound like you want to - ” an unexpected sob tore out of his throat and he let his head flop forward for a moment before he looked back up at Victor.

“Please don’t make it sound like you want to leave me.”

Victor flung his arms around Yuuri’s neck.

“Oh, Yuuri! I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t mean it! Please don’t be mad at me!” his voice was high and filled with grief as he clung to Yuuri’s neck, sobbing into his shoulder until Yuuri felt his shirt get wet.

He wrapped his arms around Victor, shushing him in a soothing tone.

“I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you, my sweet Vitya,” He whispered into Victor’s hair, trailing butterfly kisses on those soft silver strands. “I know you didn’t mean it. I know you’re hurting – believe me, I’m hurting too. We’ve both lost her, and I’m so sorry I can’t make this pain go away.”

He didn’t trust his voice anymore as more sobs rose to the surface. So they knelt there, the only sounds were their soft whimpers as they rocked each other through the pain.

At some point, Makkachin padded into the bathroom and nudged himself into the middle of their embrace, gently licking their tear-stained cheeks until they eventually smiled, albeit small, weak smiles.

Victor buried his face in the chocolate-brown fur and gripped the poodle tight, saying something softly in Russian that Yuuri could only guess was a thank you.

Yuuri took the opportunity to stand up, his knees suddenly aching from kneeling for too long. He stepped over to the sink and splashed cold water on his face. It didn’t make him feel much better, but at least he felt cooler. He picked up a pale blue facecloth and ran the cold water over it, squeezing it until it didn’t drip. He knelt back down to Victor and placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. When his mate looked up, he gently wiped the tears away with the wet cloth.

Victor smiled a little at the gesture and allowed himself to be tended to. He knew his alpha needed to feel like he was helping him, and he was always so gentle and cute when he did it. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, allowing Yuuri better access to his face and neck.

Yuuri gently rubbed Victor’s stained cheeks, up to his forehead, where he brushed his hair to one side with his fingers before continuing to groom his mate. Hooking the cloth over his forefinger, he ran the cloth down the bridge of Victor’s slender nose, playfully bopping the tip to make Victor blink.

Victor let out what sounded like a tiny chuckle, but it came out wet and pitiful. But at least he stopped crying, at long last.

Yuuri felt a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he carried on cleaning Victor’s face. When he reached Victor’s mouth, he hovered, unsure. He didn’t want his husband to think he was trying anything funny.

Victor noticed the hesitation and nudged himself forward, planting his lips over the cloth to kiss Yuuri’s finger. He let go of Makkachin to take the cloth from Yuuri and brushed his lips over his knuckles, one at a time.

“Vitya?” Yuuri’s voice sounded strangled as he gawped at Victor.

Victor looked into Yuuri’s eyes and the alpha flinched.

Victor’s eyes began to shift in colour, pitching from sapphire-blue to amethyst-purple, the first indicator of an omega in heat. His pupils dilated, the purple in his eyes almost vanishing. Victor began to crawl over to Yuuri, his movements slow, his hips rolling.

“Yuuri…” Victor purred as he made his way to his mate, who was starting to back away from him, amber eyes wide in shock.

Yuuri scuffled back until he felt his head hit the wall. Victor continued to crawl over to him until he could run his hands slowly up Yuuri’s legs, up to his thighs.

“V-Victor!” his yelp of surprise made Victor smile. It wasn’t a happy smile.

He straddled Yuuri, leaning over the smaller man, his nose rubbing against Yuuri’s playfully.

Yuuri let out a gasp as Victor rubbed the heel of his palm over his crotch.

“Does that feel good, Yuuri?” Victor whispered, his lips tantalisingly close to Yuuri’s, “Let me make you feel good. Let me make it up to you.”

Yuuri gently took hold of Victor’s wrist and pulled his hand up to his mouth. He kissed each knuckle. “You have nothing to make up for, my love.”

Victor nudged his face past his hand to kiss Yuuri hard, and Yuuri allowed him to. It was desperate and sloppy, full of needy whimpers and searching tongues, for both of them. Yuuri needed to comfort his mate. Victor needed the solace of his lover.

But when Victor tried to pull at Yuuri’s shirt, the alpha caught his hands and pulled away from the kiss.

“No, Victor.” He said plainly, hoping he wouldn’t have to command his mate.

Victor looked at him with saucer-sized eyes, fluttering silver lashes. “But I need - ”

Yuuri gently placed a finger over Victor’s lips, silencing him. “I know, Vitya. And I promise, I will. But not here, not now,” he stood up and offered his hand to Victor, “let’s…let’s get you cleaned up first.”

Victor shivered at the implication, but reluctantly nodded. He took Yuuri’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. He slumped against Yuuri’s chest as his husband pulled him into a tight hug and frowned as Yuuri nudged him towards the toilet.

Yuuri closed the lid on the toilet and gestured for Victor to sit down. Once he was satisfied that he was comfortable, he turned to the bath and twisted the taps. He then went to the cabinet, pulling out several bottles and jars; fizzy rose-scented bath salts, lavender bubble bath and sweet pea foam, specially designed for omegas. Yuuri sometimes found the floral scents overpowering. Victor, on the other hand, loved them.

As the bath slowly filled with hot water, Yuuri mixed the various salts and liquids until an enormous pile of bubbles began to form. He then turned his attention to the control pad at the side of the tub and figured that his mate truly needed to be pampered, so he set the jets to a gentle massage. Once he was satisfied with his work, he began to strip off his clothes.

Victor’s eyes grew wide. “Umm…Yuuri?”

Yuuri blushed, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “S-sorry, I thought you’d want me to join you. But if you don’t - ”

“No! I mean, I do want that. I’d like that.”

Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief and held his hands out to Victor. Victor took his hands and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet again.

Yuuri had always loved that Victor was slightly taller than him. He loved the way those beautiful eyes sparkled down at him when he smiled; it was like looking up at the stars. And he wanted to make those stars shine again.

He pecked Victor’s lips with a sweet kiss.

“Do you want me to help you?” he asked, gesturing at Victor’s clothes.

Victor chewed his lower lip for a second, thinking about it. But he shakes his head; no, he needs to do something for himself.

Once they were both naked, Yuuri stepped into the bath first and lowered himself into the sweet-smelling bubbles before holding his hand out to steady Victor.

Though he pretended not to notice the dried blood on the inside of Victor’s thighs, he felt a surge of anger in his gut. Anger that this has happened to them again. Anger that his mate has been in pain. Anger at himself for not being there for him.

Victor sighed as he rested his back against Yuuri’s chest and let his eyelids flutter shut, breathing in the sweet aroma that his mate created for him. He smiled when Yuuri released an extra dose of soothing pheromones.

“You’re spoiling me.” He sighed, resting his head into the crook of Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri kissed the top of Victor’s head. “You’re worth spoiling.”

They sat there like that for a while, just breathing in the floral scent, feeling the hot water and jets of air massage their muscles, listening to each other’s heartbeats. Yuuri closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Victor, holding him close to his chest.

Victor loved it when Yuuri was like this: attentive, nurturing, comforting. In a weird way, Yuuri was almost like an omega – just a stronger, more rugged version.

And he was sure he would make a wonderful father.

Fresh tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he let out a shuddering breath, alerting his mate to his distress.

“Vitya?” Victor hated the concern in that beautiful, soft voice.

“What if…what if this doesn’t happen for us?” Victor turned his head to look at Yuuri, searching his face.

Yuuri sat back, thinking. What if they never had children? Even though the last two years had been tough, Yuuri had never doubted that one day they get their wish. He still believed they would. But he knew he had to be practical and, as hard as it was, face up to the possibility that it might not happen. Whatever the future held, Yuuri knew he had what he needed right here in front of him.

“Then we face it together.” He finally said aloud, gazing into Victor’s eyes.

Victor lowered his eyes. “If-if you decided to find another mate…”

Yuuri cupped Victor’s chin, bringing his eyes back to him. “That will never happen!”

“I’m just saying – I wouldn’t blame you - ”

Yuuri silenced Victor with a kiss. When he pulled away, he smiled as a surprised blush bloomed on the omega’s cheeks.

“Victor, listen to me,” Yuuri gently nudged Victor until he turned around to face him fully. He pushed Victor into a sitting position and he knelt in front of him, clasping his hands in his, “I could travel to the farthest corners of the world and never find someone as perfect as you. I could look into the eyes of every living being and never feel the same way as I do when I see your beautiful eyes every morning. I could kiss every pair of lips and they wouldn’t taste as sweet as yours. You are my mate – my true mate – the one I was meant to be with. So if that doesn’t include children, then so be it. Because you are the other half of my soul, Vitya, and I’m blessed to have you in my life. To be the father of your child was always going to be a bonus!”

Victor felt tears cascade down his face, but they didn’t feel the same as before. These were tears of joy. Of love.

His eyes landed on the dark mark on Yuuri’s chest, just over his heart. His mark. The mark of their shared bond as true mates. He had a matching one on his own pale chest, and he had thought it to be the most beautiful part of his body.

He reached out to brush his fingertips over Yuuri’s mark. The alpha shivered at the touch, the mark burning under his lover’s caress. Yuuri mimicked the action, sharing that golden touch with his mate.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, “I’ll always be here.”

Victor smiled, and for the first time today it made his eyes sparkle. “I know.”

And he knew in his heart that it was the truth. Whatever happened, whether they had children, or settled for adopting a whole litter of puppies for Makkachin to play with, Yuuri would always be there to love him. And he would be there to love Yuuri.

Yuuri would always stay close to him.

 

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I owe you an explanation for this fic...My husband and I have been trying for almost 3 years, and so far, we've been unsuccessful. Nothing as bad as what I've put our boys through (I am so so so sorry about this!) but after another month come and gone with nothing to show for it, I was feeling sorry for myself.  
> Next thing I knew, I was typing and typing and this story was created.  
> I love Victor and Yuuri so much - their love is my food! - but, in a stupid way, I've been jealous of all the mpreg fanfics that I've read and I guess I wanted to see how they'd cope in this situation.  
> Of course, I knew they'd come out of it a million times stronger than they were before <3<3
> 
> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it as a one-off. Don't worry, I will be returning to my fluffy romance saga "Star-Crossed" straight away! I just needed to get this outta my system!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment - I'll always reply xx


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